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If it feels good, great! Yes, you are! To explain a bit further, we need to consider why people think that they might not be virgins after they finger themselves.

It mostly has to do with the hymen. What is the hymen, you might ask? Well, the hymen is a thin membrane of tissue that partially covers the vaginal opening.

Neither of these things are true. If you have a particularly thick or prominent hymen, your hymen may tear a little.

Stretched hymens can actually sometimes return to their un-stretched state, and tears in the hymen have been known to heal.

Hymens also stretch, tear, or erode from totally non-sexual activities, like playing sports and using tampons. Additionally, not everyone has the same shape or size hymen; some are irregular and naturally have tags or notches.

Some people are even born without one! Thus, the entire idea that the state of your hymen has anything to do with your virginity is actually pretty ludicrous.

Is this painful? Not usually. The stretching can be uncomfortable, or you may feel a slight stinging, burning, or tearing sensation.

So is everyone who says they bled or sex hurt the first time just lying? No, not at all—bleeding and pain are somewhat common experiences at initial penetrative sex.

But most bleeding and pain at first penetrative sex have nothing to do with the hymen. The pain generally comes from either from a a lack of lubrication, b the tightening of the vagina due to nervousness, or c a combination of both.

This can lead to the tearing of the vaginal walls, which causes the pain and bleeding. Given that first-time penetrative sex can be a pretty nerve-wracking experience even if you are genuinely excited and happy, it is not incredibly surprising that you might be dry or tight two common sexual consequences of anxiety when you want to first do the deed.

So how does this all relate back to fingering yourself? Well, the same principles apply to fingering yourself as apply to partnered penetration.

The nice thing about self-penetration is that you have total control over every aspect of the situation! If the hymen goes a long time without being penetrated, it will usually return to its non-stretched state, and need to be stretched out again.

You can gradually work up to two fingers and then perhaps a dildo over time. The key to the most comfortable hymen stretching experience possible is lots of lubrication store-bought lube will definitely come in handy here , being really relaxed, and introducing deeper and thicker penetration very slowly and gradually.

A couple of things could be happening here. Try to orgasm first from external penetration or at least put some lube on your finger before attempting penetration.

You could also start with a smaller finger like your pinky and work up to a larger digit. You might also be pushing in at the wrong angle, which can cause discomfort.

The vagina is angled towards your back. Try changing the angle slightly and trying again. You should also check your nails—if you have any sharp edges, they can catch on the tender insides of the vaginal walls and cause pain.

This is a condition where a woman feels pain with all penetration. If you are concerned about this, go to the doctor—it is treatable. Yes, you can. This may feel less awkward than using your finger or allow you new sensations and positions.

However, here are three essential guidelines to follow to safely penetrate yourself with objects:.

Anything you might use on your genitals again should be stored in a clean, dry place. Some people use vibrating toothbrushes as genital vibrators.

The anus is extremely sensitive and full of nerve endings, so stimulating it can feel pleasurable. Men also have the prostate, which can be stimulated digitally through the anus.

Many common fingering questions center on misconceptions about the hymen, the membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening. Also, a feeling of stretching, fullness, or a slight tight discomfort with initial penetration are all totally common phenomena; while stabbing pain is generally an indication that your body is not quite ready yet—try more external stimulation and some lube.

The bottom line is that getting to know your body should be enjoyable, and fingering can be a great self-exploration tool in your arsenal!

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Fingering yourself: not depicted in this picture. Why Do People Finger Themselves? Pleasure A big reason why someone might finger themselves is for pleasure!

Self-Exploration Another main reason why people might want to try fingering themselves is to get to know their bodies better. Preparation for Penetrative Sex Some people also finger themselves to prepare for penetrative sex.

Some people like to be extra-prepared for any situation, even during a leisurely stroll! Step 3: Lube Up If Necessary Especially if this is your first time fingering yourself, I highly recommend using some extra lube.

A natural lube option. Step 5: Find G-Spot If Desired The G-spot is a spongy piece of tissue on the front wall of the vagina so, towards your belly button and your bladder.

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For more on this kind of fingering, see our complete guide to masturbation. You might wonder why people would want to finger themselves. A big reason why someone might finger themselves is for pleasure!

Some people like the feeling of fullness in their vagina while they stimulate the clitoris during masturbation. The vagina also has the G-spot, a spongy area of tissue on the front of the vaginal wall that is very sensitive when stimulated.

We will discuss how to find and stimulate the G-spot in the next section. The bottom line is that a major reason people finger themselves is because it feels good!

Another main reason why people might want to try fingering themselves is to get to know their bodies better. What does it feel like?

What angle is it at? Some people also finger themselves to prepare for penetrative sex. You may simply want to be prepared or have an idea of what it will feel like.

You might also hope that by stretching out your hymen in advance , sex will be more comfortable. Actually, the vagina is only the internal canal!

Vulva is the correct term for the external genitalia. This consists of the labia majora the fleshy outer lips , the labia minora the thinner inner lips , the clitoris the sensitive bud of tissue at the apex of the labia minora , the vulvar vestibule all of the tissue in between the labia minora , the urethra, the entrance to the vagina, and the hymen.

See this diagram for some guidance. Now that you are armed with the necessary anatomical knowledge, how should you actually go about fingering yourself?

Read on for my five-step fingering formula. You might also want to do something specifically to relax and get ready.

This could be anything from taking a bubble bath to listening to some calming music or reading something sexy. You might want to put on some lingerie that makes you feel hot or light some candles if you really want to create an atmosphere although always be careful with fire!

Penetrating yourself with a finger or anything else! This makes the vagina slicker and more accommodating of penetration.

You might enjoy stroking, circling, or tapping the clitoris. Think of it as foreplay with yourself.

One advantage to reaching orgasm is that the vagina releases extra lubrication, so penetration will be easier.

Especially if this is your first time fingering yourself, I highly recommend using some extra lube. Be sure to test any lube in advance by placing a little on the inside of your wrist and waiting 15 minutes.

To lube up, take a small bead of lube and completely rub it around the fingers you will use to penetrate. When you start to insert, move slowly.

The vagina is pointed towards your back, oriented about 30 degrees back from straight-up-and down. Continuing to move slowly, gradually insert your finger, adjusting as necessary.

You may also want to add more lube. Start with one finger. Many people use their index or middle finger, but if you find that your index or middle finger feels too wide or uncomfortable, you have a couple options: if your hand and wrist are flexible enough, you can try out your pinky finger.

If this makes maneuvering too awkward, you can also use a very slim, clean, plastic or silicone object with no sharp edges. Over time, as you get more relaxed and comfortable with penetration, you may want to use thicker or even multiple fingers, but it is best to start small and gradually work up to it.

The G-spot is a spongy piece of tissue on the front wall of the vagina so, towards your belly button and your bladder.

If you insert an index finger, you should be able to feel the sponginess. Because the G-spot abuts the bladder, stimulating it may make you feel like you have to pee in addition to feeling pleasurable.

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